Mind games

Slugfest is officially over. Anxiety is setting in for 2 reasons:

1. Mr. P text'd me last night and informed me (I think with sinister laughter) that there is a change to my program. Instead of the short duathalon tonight, I am scheduled to go long! My biggest worry is falling off the bike as the wind speed today is crazy and it often takes you by surprise and jerks you violently on the bike.

2. I will be doing my very first open water swim this week-so I guess I better wear the wetsuit around the house again to further assist in the molding process! I also spoke with another woman who completed her first open water swim this weekend and cried her eyes out as she couldn't even complete 800meters and she is way fitter than me!

I am not sure why, but these duathalons get me quite anxious-tonight will be my fourth so you think I would be less freaked-not so! Having said this, it is an awesome feeling to complete it and I guess that is why I keep putting myself in a tremendously uncomfortable situation. Oh and I guess it's also good practice for the Big One, which if I think about it, is not that far off in the future.

I now totally understand why people benefit from sports psychologists-the mind is so powerful and can work in your favor or detriment. In my case, it's not really helping me out too much, but I know I have the power to change this.

My task for the next while is really to get a handle on this mental game. I know I must sound so self-absorbed and I appologize, but who knew that it could get the better of you. At the end of the day, its just a silly race-in the whole scheme of things this really does not matter. Other things matter way more. This really should be viewed as fun, because when I look around me I see things that people struggle with daily that are way harder. For that matter, if I turn on the news one can see that in most parts of the world it really is a matter of life and death to survive on the planet. I need to focus on this and remember this when I get anxious-after all things really need to be put into perspective in moments of panic! Shame shame on me!