Zombie

Ok I felt a bit like a zombie doing my workout this morning. Very fitting considering last evening I attended a concert hosted by Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie.

It's amazing what sleep or a lack of sleep can do to one's body. Fortunately for me, this is a regeneration week so all my workouts are cut back a bit. If I am super lucky today, I will try and nap as 5 hours sleep is pretty hard to take!

Today, I am planning on going shopping for some bike clothing-something to protect me from wind and rain, and tornados. This kinda shopping makes me a bit anxious, as
1. I don't want top of the line stuff (my cycling abilities at this point would make me feel foolish wearing something that a pro would wear).
2. I have no idea-really what kinda questions to ask
3. I don't want to get ripped off

Anxiety is also starting to build as I am committing myself to complete 5 duathalons for the next 5 weeks as part of my training. I am seriously hoping that some of my friends will come along on this journey with me-or at least part of it, as I would love the company.

Usually I am very good about doing things on my own-heck most of my training is solo. I likely feel this comfort level as I grew up being a base brat and having to move constantly and meet new people and experience new situations all the time. That was my norm, so I am pretty cool with change most of the time. But for whatever reason, this new situation is creating feelings I am not so comfortable with. When I sit down to examine what it is that I am actually nervous about, it comes down to this:

1. Injuring myself or someone else because of doing something wrong (ie. slowing down to quickly or passing or losing my chain etc. etc. etc.-a million situations arise in my mind)

Now this is a very realistic fear-I can not simply put this out of my mind. But all I can do at this point is try my very best, and believe that the more practice I can get in, the less anxious I will be. In the meantime, until the first duathalon is actually over, I will be experiencing some heightened anxiety. Fortunately, Mr. P is going to assist me over the weekend, by doing a trial run of the course.

I know in the end, that this will be good, because trying something new, even if you do not succeed is better than doing nothing at all. It's very easy to avoid things that bother us, or cause anxiety. Hell it's in our human nature. But if you can perservere, if you can wake up in the morning and say you did your very best-then ultimately that is what really matters.