Funk

Hello followers- I have been thinking of posting but have been a bit down-OK a lot down. I have experienced a major setback and up until today I was feeling very melancholy!

In a nutshell, my open water swim was not a good first experience. It started with forgetting everything I learned about breathing and this escalated into full fledge panic. My wetsuit felt extremely constricting, I could not see where I was going, every attempt I made to lift my head out of water and site resulted in me losing any rythym to my swim- and so just to get myself calm I needed to flip onto my back (several times) which I am told is a very bad thing to do when you are in a race situation for safety reasons. The other part that freaked me, is looking into the green murky water and seeing all sorts of seeweed and garbage floating around. It is definitely not like the Disney movies where you see beautiful coral and fish and rainbow colours! I mean I knew it would be bad-but obviously was not prepared for the horror of it.

I managed the 800 meter swim without drowning, but my only thoughts coming out of the water were how I will not be able to do Calagary never mind my first tiathlon in a week! I felt all my hard work was a waste, and the discouragement, and self pity were beyond anything I have experienced in all the training so far.

I immediately called my voice of reason (Seema) who reminded me of my successes in the experience and will likely kill me for posting the negative's. After processing what she has said-and begginning to internalize some, I have come to the point today-that I am not going to give up. I will get back out there and practice. I did the 800 meters-even if it was freaking slow-I did it, and that is the approx. distance I need to do for my Sprint triathlon next week. I now know what it is like-it will no longer be a shock. My better half (Michael) has also said he will come out with me this week and spot me so I can get some more swimming in before the weekend. I am very lucky to have a husband whos is so supportive and encouraging of me as well!

So followers in the end, even though I have to admit I am still scared about the swim part-I refuse to allow this to paralyze me like it has for the last two days. This funk has got to go!

And it starts with getting some confidence back with an opportunity today. You see today is another milestone in my training. In approximately 2 hours from now, I will be embarking on a 100 K bike ride with a group of riders, followed by a 5 k run. Mr. P has arranged this insanity and while I feel a lot nervous because this is highway riding in a pack (which I have not experienced by the way) . My game plan is to let Mr. P and his posse know how I feel and learn as much as I possibly can. I also have to get comfortable with the idea of the high probability of being the slowest rider and accepting that. It definitley will be hard to finish last, but my goal at this point is to finish and to finish safely.

My technical goals for this ride is to eat and drink. My friend, Mr. C at the bike shop suggested this handy little gizmo to put on your bike called a bento box. I immediately agreed to purchasing it as it will store several snacks, and a gel flask for me.

Now- I must go, I must down a few Boost's to start my day, eat a breakfast and get ready. As I look out the window it is foggy-hopefully it will lift just like the funk.